


Little Miss Know-It-All: A Grand Fate

by spaceghetti



Series: Little Miss Know-It-All: Adventures [1]
Category: Fate/stay night & Related Fandoms
Genre: Gen
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-26
Updated: 2019-03-03
Packaged: 2019-10-16 05:26:36
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 2,012
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17543549
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spaceghetti/pseuds/spaceghetti
Summary: A ordinary person struck dead by Truck-kun once again, only this time they get reincarnated into the world of Fate/Stay Night. Except this little girl is still really just a normal girl except for one small, tiny fact. Now that she's survived death, she's kinda gone round the bend. . . a little. (A Series of Drabbles)Some one should probably stop her."Chu-chu! Don't bully him. It's not his fault he has performance Issues" the Interloper says lightly, as if it were a joke, not a battle to the death between two of the most powerful beings on earth at the moment.Archer looked very confused, and decidedly irritated.Cuchulain, stared blankly for a minute, then started Laughing.





	1. Truck-kun Strikes again

Ya know dying ain't the worst feeling in the world.

 

It's like you're there and then poof!

 

Gone!

 

Windows has shut down!

 

I mean I guess, I was just restarting Windows this time hopefully I won't  _CRASH_ again. ~~(HA HA HA get it)~~

But my being resurrected following my death at the hands of the great isekai god Truck-kun did not bring me to a fantasy world.

It brought me to . . . well japan. (My inner weeb kinda freaked out . . . A little) 

 

But I was also a baby which confused me for, the Grand Religion of Truck-kun states I should have been granted some kind of boon to begin my quest to stop the Demon Lord, all while picking up all of the hot women (and men) to fill my glorious harem.

 

But I was a Baby.

 

That kinda sucks.

 

Guess I have to wait for My Glorious adventure to start.

 

It's gonna be a long wait.

 

Welp guess I gotta do something to pass time.

 

Ninety-nine thousand bottles of beer on the wall, Ninety-nine thousand bottles of beer.

Take one down, pass it around.

Ninety-eight thousand nine hundred and ninety-nine bottles of beer on the wall.


	2. The Flames of Youth?

**~2 years old, 1989~**

 

Being a toddler is really boring. This statement should surprise no one, I mean all you can really do is sit around doing nothing. The rest of the time is spent trying to understand what the absolute heck people are saying.

 

The frustration in not being able to understand what my parents are saying is really rough, my slight ~~ly massive~~ addiction to anime has not helped me at all. Granted I did not expect standard Japanese speech to include dramatic screaming, or my dad to suddenly launch into a lecture about the complexities of such and such. 

 

Granted I did start picking up words somewhere around a year into my life new life.

I don't really understand a whole lot but now I call my mother Ka-chan and my father Otou-chan. It is all very nice and my name.

 

Oh yes I learned my name, as I couldn't rightfully be called by my old name anymore.

 

Seibu, I can't say I dislike my new name the last one I could lay claim to belongs to a girl that died.

 

The name I begin my quest into the future with will be the one I will bare against what ever the Isekai gods decide to throw at me.

 

For My Name Is Seibu! And I refuse to Die without doing something interesting.

 

However, my new un-shatter-able will must bend for I am but a two year old, and Two year olds have generally very boring existences.

 

Now to pass the time . . .

 

 


	3. Playing Fetch with a Fake Ball

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Meeting Chu-Chu and Archer. And Annoying both.

Seibu Awaishi waited.

  


She of course knew what was going to be landing in front of her within the next few minutes.

  


So she had prepared to confuse, Lacking magical circuits and any real combat experience taunting servants would be suicidal. But, Seibu no longer fears death, Dying once kinda ended that fear.

  


So she waited for Rin, Archer and Cu Cuchulain.

  


**Three minutes . . .**   


  


Seibu of course was confused at first, for the simple reason that people die when they are killed. Usually.

Truck-kun was always immune to this rule. Almost no one killed by Truck-kun stayed dead. 

An Idol became a Zombie.

A Cynical Teen took a god with him when he was reborn.

Seibu Herself.

  


**Two minutes . . .**

  


But not dying when you're supposed to changes people, be it good or bad.

The man who learned to lead, by ruling monsters.

The man who learned to disregard life, by fighting a war.

The woman who lost her sense of self preservation, Seibu Herself.

  


**One Minute . . .**

  


Most people gained power or influence or fame.

Seibu was born ordinary, just a regular human in a town that every couple decades has magic wars.

Secret magic wars.

And Seibu wants to have fun in her second life. Thus she plans to taunt two of the most powerful people on the planet.

So you can see she's not all there.

  


**Now!**

  


They arrive. 

  


Rin carried by Archer. Lancer chasing right after them.

  


Archer almost faster than Seibu can see, projects a black blade, and deflect a thrust of Lancer's spear.

Then there off  fighting again while Rin just look on in disguised awe. "So this is a fight between servants" she says.

  


Archer's Blade shatters. Lancer charges. Rin screams. Seibu eats a handful of popcorn.

A new blade forms. "A dual wielder then" Lancer comments.

  


"I bet if he had more hands he would probably try triple wielding" Seibu could not resist butting in. "That just the kind of stupid he is."

Lancer pauses. Rin looks surprised. Archer looks a little annoyed. Seibu munches on more popcorn.

  


"But I suppose he was very good at playing with swords. Still don't understand why his hair is white." Seibu continues to mumble to herself. "Was always confused by that  part of the Nasuverse."

Rin seems to get over her surprise first. "What are you doing here! What do you mean about Archer? And Why do you have Popcorn"

Seibu ignores Rin. She instead chooses to shout some more. "Mr. Faker bring out a bow and Stop pissing off Blue" and then she turns on Lancer who was feeling slightly vindicated"Blue, Shame on you beating up a hopelessly idiotic Old man"

"Oi! fuck you kid"

"Bad doggy, don't curse in front of the impressionable Tsundere!"

"HEY" It was Rin's turn to shout at Seibu. "I am not a Tsundere!"

  


Lancer tried to attack Archer again. Archer who was still distracted by the strange girl just barely avoided it.

  


"Chu-chu! Don't bully him. It's not his fault he has performance Issues" the Interloper chastises, as if she where talking down to a child.

  


Cuchulain looked decidedly annoyed.

"Nothing Either of you can do will make me respect you!" Seibu shouts next, then turns to leave.

  


"Where do you think you're going?" Rin calls out.

"Well . . . I was going to go to Gil-Chan's sex dungeon, but I suppose at this hour I would be best going home. So Ciao."   


  


Lancer took this chance to start attacking Archer again. Rin was forced to stop thinking about Seibu, when fate caught up with them and Shirou did not in fact die when he was killed

  


  


  


  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thus ends the first of many drabbles, during which Seibu annoys people.


	4. The Summoning

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> happens after Shirou summons Saber

Watching the first true battle of the holy grail war is an interesting thing to do. Seibu never really wanted to participate in the actual war. Seibu chose to watch the events not change them, she didn't know what great changes she may have caused if she started changing the events of the war, her lack of magus training not withstanding, people died in grail wars, most where just background characters but being isekai'd wasn't a guaranteed survival of the war. 

Seibu could not confirm if her death would remain temporary, would she have plot armor like Shirou possessed. Seibu had no way to be certain she could survive without a servant. Plot Armor is a nebulous concept that could save her at the last possible moment in the form of a  halfway built harem of beautiful women who were drawn to the charm of accidentally pushing the Tsundere button. I could also come in the form of suddenly getting a second wind while the big bad starts a monologue in the middle of battle, I could also take the form of the sudden use of the bullshit magic powers popping up at the last possible minute. Seibu doesn't trust herself not to die any way.

The only way to survive 100% of the time would be to summon the best Servant (for Seibu), The one Servant no one ever uses properly: 

 

**ASSASSIN**

 

Allow me to briefly explain myself.

Saber while tough and unrelenting, suffers from three flaws that would destroy Seibu's general goal of surviving the Grail War; Saber is a  **Loud** class and Saber is a prana intensive class. Sabers are always in the middle of every conflict and draw attention to themselves, lacking the ability to conceal their presence doesn't help. Sabers due to their constant spotlight-ness requires a massive prana cost to keep fighting at full capacity something Seibu does not possess. The third flaw is that King Arturia is the Saber for the fifth war, nothing Seibu does will change that necessary part of the story that is Fate/Stay Night. 

Archer is similar to Saber in that in order to drive Shirou forward EMIYA must be summoned, and EMIYA's impact on Shirou is necessary to the story. Archer also requires lots of prana to sustain himself and all of his weapons. Hell, Rin had difficulties keeping Archer at max capacity when he had to fight Berserker!Hercules who in turn needed to be attacked with A rank phantasms to even take damage.

Lancer while being a powerful physical combatant, with high agility stats is another fight crazy Servant. Cuchulain's wish would align with Seibu's lack of a wish, his being fighting strong opponents. However Lancer still has a need to fight every other servant if only just for the thrill of combat, and as such would require large amounts of prana to be sustained.

Rider is out because the Rider class's greatest attribute is their powerful noble phantasms which are without exception are prana intensive something that would quickly cause problems for the prana-less Seibu.

That leaves the Caster and Assassin as the two remaining classic servants that Seibu could summon. The true deciding factor between which Seibu should summon is that Caster has already been summoned and has not yet summoned her Assassin to guard the gate.

 

* * *

 

 

Hidden in the basement of her empty house Seibu is drawing, and drawing. The circle of runes and markings made in the blood of several chickens. Seibu is no magus her circuits if she has any are locked, she has no catalyst to call upon a specific servant, no prana to preform the ritual, but Seibu was granted the seals of command and if she doesn't summon one now she will receive one at the worst possible moment. Seibu being the last to summon a [true] Servant has begun her attempt to summon the Servant perfect for her warped and impossible existence. Thus, her chanting begins.

 

**"Let silver and steel be the essence.**  
**Let stone and the archduke of contracts be the foundation.**  
  
**Let rise a wall against the wind that shall fall.**  
**Let the four cardinal gates close.**  
**Let the three-forked road from the crown reaching unto the Kingdom rotate.**  
  
**Let it be declared now;**  
**your flesh shall serve under me, and my fate shall be with your sword.**  
**Submit to the beckoning of the Holy Grail.**  
**Answer, if you would submit to this will and this truth.**  
  
**An oath shall be sworn here.**  
**I shall attain all virtues of all of Heaven;**  
**I shall have dominion over all evils of all of Hell.**

**Let the darkness of Shadows cloak you;**  
**Sharpen your blades, I have need of them.**

**From the Seventh Heaven, attended to by three great words of power,**  
**come forth from the ring of restraint, protector of the holy balance!"**

 

A burst of power and smoke fills the room.

"You have summoned me, Servant Assassin. Are you my master." The voice of a young child rings out from the fog.

"Yes, I am your master" Seibu responds happily. As the smoke clears, the servants appearance become more clear. That of a seven-ish year old child with white hair, pale skin and pale purple tattoo. Her clothing is minimal resembling more a skimpy swim suit than proper clothes. strapped to her waist are a series of knives of various styles. "It is good to meet you, my name is Awaishi Seibu, what's yours?"

"My name is Jack. Will you be my Mommy?" the now named servant asks in turn, seeming hopeful about her master.

"Of course Jack" The servant brightens at those words "now it's getting late so, do you want to help me make dinner, Daughter mine" 

 

 

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh boy I had to make this chapter. s'not as funny as the last chapter but I really wanted to make this. Just going to confirm this now: Medea's Assassin is still going to be summoned I'll explain It when I get to that part of the story or if someone asks in the comments.
> 
> That's all Folks, until Next Time!  
> Spaceghetti blasting off again

**Author's Note:**

> Thus begins the adventure of this new OC in the Nasuverse.
> 
> This is going to be a crack-fic with my new OC adventuring forth to irritate and just confuse the masters within the fifth Holy Grail War.
> 
> This story like all of my works are going to have really slow updates, starting a week or two from now cause college sucks.
> 
> Spaceghetti is Blasting of again.


End file.
